Popcorn: The Surface Pleasures
Tommy Ward (Josh Duhamel) kills the wrong mark—an error that sets the plot in motion. The reason? Failing eyesight. Turns out, the man he mistakenly offs is some big boss’s wife’s cousin… oorrrrr something like that.
Because of this totally avoidable blunder, Tommy is forced to flee London and lay low in L.A. A year later, he’s working for Benson (Rick Hoffman), who orders a hit on another hitter—but when that dude recognizes Tommy and his final act is to snitch Tommy’s location to the London boss, oh, Tommy’s gotta get the heck outta Dodge.
As if that weren’t enough? Benson has a problem of his own: his son Julian (Jeremy Ray Taylor) is a big, larping nerd. Definitely not cut out for the family business. To be clear, Julian is a nerd who gets bullied… by other nerds.
To solve it, when Tommy approaches Benson for a lifesaving favor, Benson makes him earn it—by mentoring Julian on his last mission and teaching him how to be a proper killer.
Pyres: The Fire Beneath
Sex appeal, atonement, coming-of-age, and action make goofy London Calling not just watchable, but enjoyable enough to watch again.
Julian becomes an emotional stand-in for Tommy’s own estranged son. Oh yes, Tommy is charming, but he’s got some amends to make with the child he discarded for a life of crime. His relationship with Julian builds the emotional core of Calling, anchoring its wild premise and laugh-out-loud tickles in something substantial and tender.
It can only do this lifting because of Benson—a crime boss enlivened by Hoffman’s static humor, but also a bastard of an abba. In this way, Tommy becomes a mirror for how a loving father might treat an evolving son.
The mission he sets them on creates the life-or-death context they must survive. So on the surface, there’s Tommy—the hitman in hiding. There’s Julian—the boss’s cosplaying son. And then there’s Alistair Mcrory (Neil Sandilands)—the feared-by-fellow-mercs ghostlike legend who’s gone… soft? Good? Unstable?
He’s seen as a threat to the underworld, and Tommy and Julian are assigned to take him out. This pursuit, and the many reversals it prompts, gives Act II/b its momentum.
Craft & Execution: Missed Opportunities and Strong Choices
This plotline both makes and shakes the movie.
Telegraphed. The swiftly paced pursuit, the reversals, the tongue-in-cheek banter of Act II/b keep the world propped up beautifully—but it sags in one key place. Getting Mcrory is the engine for the core buddy comedy, but it lends itself to a little unraveling when all the storylines converge. It’s fine. It’s good. But it’s also visible… enough where even Tommy could see it.
Despite that tiny falter, London Calling is a great vehicle for Duhamel. It recenters his image, returning attention to his onscreen charisma over offscreen noise. The film takes full advantage of his gifts: that face, all that body, his disarming sexy-gaze and his willingness to be a little self-effacing.
The comedy fully lands—London Calling is super funny, the pacing is tight, and the performances are solid. Duhamel and Taylor in particular have an unlikely chemistry that turns the coming-of-age-meets-crime-comedy into something beating with a lively pulse.
But two elements may sit uncomfortably with some audiences:
1. Benson’s treatment of Julian
His berating and betrayal of his son are taken a bit too far. We get the point early on—but the film continues to hammer it, and the cruelty eventually overpowers the comedy.
2. The eyesight gag
Not so much uncomfortable—unless missed opportunities make your eye twitch.
Since the entire plot amounts to the power of glasses, it’s surprising how little nuance the film gives the vision-loss thread. There was a real opportunity to explore age-related sight loss with some emotional resonance. Tommy’s blurred vision could have been used as a subtextual lens: how he’s not seeing the foibles of his life clearly. How he’s a father who loves his son but ultimately discarded him. And how, as he begins to accept his fading sight, he sees himself—and his need to grow up—more clearly.
But they chose to keep it a gag.
Popcorn + Pyres: The Judgment
London Calling is a fun crime action-comedy with thumping emotional beats. It won’t change your life, but it might brighten it.
It’s tall enough to see on the big screen. It earns high marks for being a healthy palate-cleanser after a heavier movie like HIM or The Long Walk. It’s certainly a movie that can be a lighthearted escape from these emotionally heavy times.
And fans of The Mummy may enjoy a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it appearance from Arnold Vosloo—a sweet little moment that scratches that nostalgia itch.